Edward Snowden and his bag of dirty little secrets are turning the world into a comedy of sorts!
First, he runs away - with his bag of course - to Hongkong. Then the United States of America (USA) wakes up to learn he has spilled the contents of his bag (facts and what have you about espionage, cybersnooping, etc., etc.) all over the Internet.
So as usual, it plays its favourite song whose lyrics sound more or less like the following terribly written stanza:
Such stuff will not be tolerated.
He is a traitor, he has betrayed his country etc., etc.
And yes, he needs to come back.
And stand in the dock for us to point fingers at him.
And we will prove that he IS a traitor.
But of course Snowden wants to be a hero - an Erin Brockovich fighting not Pacific Gas and Electric, but the very country that houses that company. So, he does the next best thing: He hints at seeking asylum in Iceland and then disappears from Hongkong.
The USA is furious! How dare he! And they complain to the Chinese authorities (China, more or less, rules Hongkong). But the Chinese, being the shrewd sly fellows that they are, care not to wink as they say: "Oh! He has left Hongkong through proper legal channels!"
"How come," snaps the USA, "We TOLD you who he is. We TOLD you who we ARE! We WANT him!"
"Yes yes, we KNOW who YOU are. But what you TOLD us about HIM wasn't reason enough to detain him. So, look elsewhere."
Of course, no one is saying it, but it's very obvious someone in China traded a passage to elsewhere for a bucket of those dirty little secrets. And in turn, those dirty little secrets will be traded for something else with the USA. But we'll come to that when it happens. Right now, let's stick to our man, Snowden.
So, now Snowden boards a flight to nowhere only to tell the world a few days later that nowhere is Russia. But before all that, he pits the European Union (EU) against his own country: He claims USA spied on the EU!
Now it's the EU's turn to play a song. And that they did. They brought out one that was rather known for its rhetoric lyrics. Here's a portion of one of its stanzas:
We are furious!
How come they dared to do that?!
There will be repercussions!
If these claims are true, that is.
How dare they do that?!
Of course, it's rather hilarious. That the EU did not suspect this is as akin to expecting me to believe I am the Duke of Edinburgh (Before you ask me, I am not!). It's not as if the EU lives in the nineteenth century and forgot how far the rest of the world has left it. And it's not as if none of its member countries indulged in anything remotely associated with espionage. So, it's rather amusing that the EU took the trouble to talk about 'repercussions' and other such threatening nouns!
Well, that done, and with everyone near the Mediterranean infuriated, Snowden asks for asylum in Ecuador!
"Why does he want to go to Africa?" a friend asked me.
"Africa? Is that where Ecuador is?"
"Ya! Africa is near the Equator. And Ecuador sits on the equator. "
"Really, but wikipedia says it's in South America."
"South America, Africa - they are all the same."
Appalled as I was by that equation, I was equally amused that Snowden criss-crossed all over the continents and then decided to ask to hide just a few thousand miles away from the USA. Perhaps, home - no matter how idiotic and silly in its thinking - is home after all.
Ecuador, like a true noisy diplomat, has made the right noises. It's President said the country will not bow down to its 'bullying' neighbour nor will it cower under sanctions imposed if any. But despite saying all of that, neither a yes, we will grant him asylum nor a no, we will not let that fellow come here came forth as a conclusion. Evidently, the 'neighbour' seems to be rather intimidating.
So, Snowden does what no one expected him to: He asks to stay in Russia!
I don't quite know how meetings in the White House are held, but if Hollywood productions and the cold war are any indicators of what does happen in there, it's my understanding that any pieces of news with Russia mentioned even in the shortest of sentences is enough for everyone in the Oval office to leave everything aside, sit up, cross their legs or stand up, and say"Oh expletive! That expletively expletive country yet again!"
This time, Russia is running around with Snowden. That is a heady combination, which guarantees the usage of three expletives at least in those meetings! And I am sure they are doing just that as I write this here.
Russia, on the other hand, seems to have decided to throw in its own version of comicality into the proceedings. This morning, the BBC told me that President Vladimir Putin was more than willing to grant Snowden asylum IF he stops doling out any more USA secrets from that bag he carries along with him.
Well, Putin was attempting straight-faced comedy for sure. It's a truth well-known that Russia, together with the USA, made thevcold war popular enough for it to find its way into descriptions of domestic and marital problems. That was the only joint collaboration in an otherwise bitter biting battle that has simmered down but not defused in its entirety.
Naturally then, everyone knows how 'keen' and 'eager' Russia is to 'protect' the interests of the USA. And everyone is more than willing to believe that Russia will be the first to empty Snowden's bag into its vaults before it allows him to hide behind its skirts!
Even more hilarious is the fact that, amidst all of this, all of them - Russia, the USA, and the EU - think it their duty to play Mary to the world's lamb.
What they don't realize is that these days, lambs are bold enough to ask: who the hell is Mary to decide where we have to go?!
First, he runs away - with his bag of course - to Hongkong. Then the United States of America (USA) wakes up to learn he has spilled the contents of his bag (facts and what have you about espionage, cybersnooping, etc., etc.) all over the Internet.
So as usual, it plays its favourite song whose lyrics sound more or less like the following terribly written stanza:
Such stuff will not be tolerated.
He is a traitor, he has betrayed his country etc., etc.
And yes, he needs to come back.
And stand in the dock for us to point fingers at him.
And we will prove that he IS a traitor.
But of course Snowden wants to be a hero - an Erin Brockovich fighting not Pacific Gas and Electric, but the very country that houses that company. So, he does the next best thing: He hints at seeking asylum in Iceland and then disappears from Hongkong.
The USA is furious! How dare he! And they complain to the Chinese authorities (China, more or less, rules Hongkong). But the Chinese, being the shrewd sly fellows that they are, care not to wink as they say: "Oh! He has left Hongkong through proper legal channels!"
"How come," snaps the USA, "We TOLD you who he is. We TOLD you who we ARE! We WANT him!"
"Yes yes, we KNOW who YOU are. But what you TOLD us about HIM wasn't reason enough to detain him. So, look elsewhere."
Of course, no one is saying it, but it's very obvious someone in China traded a passage to elsewhere for a bucket of those dirty little secrets. And in turn, those dirty little secrets will be traded for something else with the USA. But we'll come to that when it happens. Right now, let's stick to our man, Snowden.
So, now Snowden boards a flight to nowhere only to tell the world a few days later that nowhere is Russia. But before all that, he pits the European Union (EU) against his own country: He claims USA spied on the EU!
Now it's the EU's turn to play a song. And that they did. They brought out one that was rather known for its rhetoric lyrics. Here's a portion of one of its stanzas:
We are furious!
How come they dared to do that?!
There will be repercussions!
If these claims are true, that is.
How dare they do that?!
Of course, it's rather hilarious. That the EU did not suspect this is as akin to expecting me to believe I am the Duke of Edinburgh (Before you ask me, I am not!). It's not as if the EU lives in the nineteenth century and forgot how far the rest of the world has left it. And it's not as if none of its member countries indulged in anything remotely associated with espionage. So, it's rather amusing that the EU took the trouble to talk about 'repercussions' and other such threatening nouns!
Well, that done, and with everyone near the Mediterranean infuriated, Snowden asks for asylum in Ecuador!
"Why does he want to go to Africa?" a friend asked me.
"Africa? Is that where Ecuador is?"
"Ya! Africa is near the Equator. And Ecuador sits on the equator. "
"Really, but wikipedia says it's in South America."
"South America, Africa - they are all the same."
Appalled as I was by that equation, I was equally amused that Snowden criss-crossed all over the continents and then decided to ask to hide just a few thousand miles away from the USA. Perhaps, home - no matter how idiotic and silly in its thinking - is home after all.
Ecuador, like a true noisy diplomat, has made the right noises. It's President said the country will not bow down to its 'bullying' neighbour nor will it cower under sanctions imposed if any. But despite saying all of that, neither a yes, we will grant him asylum nor a no, we will not let that fellow come here came forth as a conclusion. Evidently, the 'neighbour' seems to be rather intimidating.
So, Snowden does what no one expected him to: He asks to stay in Russia!
I don't quite know how meetings in the White House are held, but if Hollywood productions and the cold war are any indicators of what does happen in there, it's my understanding that any pieces of news with Russia mentioned even in the shortest of sentences is enough for everyone in the Oval office to leave everything aside, sit up, cross their legs or stand up, and say"Oh expletive! That expletively expletive country yet again!"
This time, Russia is running around with Snowden. That is a heady combination, which guarantees the usage of three expletives at least in those meetings! And I am sure they are doing just that as I write this here.
Russia, on the other hand, seems to have decided to throw in its own version of comicality into the proceedings. This morning, the BBC told me that President Vladimir Putin was more than willing to grant Snowden asylum IF he stops doling out any more USA secrets from that bag he carries along with him.
Well, Putin was attempting straight-faced comedy for sure. It's a truth well-known that Russia, together with the USA, made thevcold war popular enough for it to find its way into descriptions of domestic and marital problems. That was the only joint collaboration in an otherwise bitter biting battle that has simmered down but not defused in its entirety.
Naturally then, everyone knows how 'keen' and 'eager' Russia is to 'protect' the interests of the USA. And everyone is more than willing to believe that Russia will be the first to empty Snowden's bag into its vaults before it allows him to hide behind its skirts!
Even more hilarious is the fact that, amidst all of this, all of them - Russia, the USA, and the EU - think it their duty to play Mary to the world's lamb.
What they don't realize is that these days, lambs are bold enough to ask: who the hell is Mary to decide where we have to go?!
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