"Who does she think she is?"
"Who now?"
"That - that woman!"
"Which woman?"
"You know whom I am talking about."
"Oh that woman!"
"Yes that!"
That wasn't very difficult to decipher. Whenever X has a problem with a woman, even chances know that it's that woman. That woman and X have never been able to agree, forget sit down or stand for a cup of tea. In fact, rumour has it that even cups of tea are making it very known they don't want to be passed on to them!
"What happened now?"
I had to ask that question. Else, I would be termed insensitive. Not that I have a problem being termed that. It's just that that whole you-are-insensitive-and-here's-why process would take longer than an argument with a fishmonger. And time is in such short supply you know - I hardly get time to laze around these days! So, I just had to ask that question.
Of course, the reply would come after X had:
- Paraded around the hall and the kitchen
- Made noises such as: "Tcha! Tcha!"
- Muttered ten times something that sounded like: "What to tell you! She's such a headache! Such a headache!"
- Made known the being that X's soul's in is in some scandalous royal distress worse than the one that had the Pope busy.
This time it took a full impatient five minutes for all that to happen before X sat down and said: "Politics!"
"Politics?"
"Oh she's such a shrew! She thinks she can get away with murder!"
"With you around, I doubt that will happen."
"That's what! She doesn't realize that!"
"What? That she cannot escape or that she cannot murder?"
It was too late. A withering glance was thrown at me by way of a reply. I smiled and realized I should shut up and let the flood finish its damage.
"Don't be ridiculous! You know what I am talking about."
I said yes, I do.
"She thinks everyone is a fool."
I said yes, she does.
"She thinks no one knows what she's upto. From day one, I knew what she was upto."
"Well, what is she upto?"
"Politics!"
"Yes, but what politics?"
"Oh she wants to get ahead. She wants that position."
"I am sure."
"And she thinks she can get it."
"I am sure you think so too."
"WHAT?!"
"Well, don't you want that position too?"
"Ah that!" X cooed and immediately realized the trap I had laid. So, "What position!" X questioned with the usual hand-on-the-hip pose, "I wanting positions? Oh please! I just want to do my job!"
"Part of which is ensuring she knows that you know what she wants."
"Oh do shut up."
"Well, then how do you know she's playing politics?"
"It's so obvious! The moment she walks in she throws her bag down and off she goes to gossip with those *******."
"They might just be friends talking."
"Friends?!"
"Well don't you gossip with the other *******."
"They aren't ******!"
"What are they then?"
"Friends."
"Ah so they are your friends and those are hers."
"Okay okay I understand you want to gossip. But you must have something to gossip about before you start to gossip. These people start their session at 9:00 am - when there is no one to even give them anything to talk about!"
"Probably, they're completing yesterday's work."
"Yesterday's gossip you mean."
"You should know. You do that too!"
"I?! How can you say that?" asked X as if I had breached a UN sanction, "I never gossip."
"Really! Let's examine the facts shall we?"
"Of course! Let's."
"Well then. Who spent hours and hours on the phone talking about what right so-and-so had to dump si-and-si?"
"Well, that was a thoughtful discussion - very insightful."
"Really? I wonder how many thoughts flew past that discussion and how many made it to being insightful anyway!"
"Well, we did realize si-and-si deserved better treatment than that!"
"Yes but to take take four hours to come to that conclusion and then to follow that up with a marathon session the next day?!"
"Oh you're just jealous!"
"And about what may I ask?"
"That you have no one to gossip about."
"Well I have better things to do!"
"Such as?"
"Better things."
"See? You don't have things to do."
"I do."
"Well give me an example."
"Well, I do not talk about what right so-and-so had to dump si-and-si! That takes up more than half my day!"
"You mean you sleep for more than half a day."
"That's exactly what I said!"
"Oh you will never improve."
"Probably, you should say that looking into a mirror."
"Oh shut up."
And so I did and went back to what I was to do for more than half a day. :-)
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