A bright bunch of rays decided to hit the window pane I stood against. I was least interested in knowing them but they were hell bent on making my acquaintance. So, I yanked my eyes open, stopped brushing my teeth, and smiled and said hello.
They were so pleased by my toothpaste-laden smile that they brought in some more of their siblings and flooded the entire balcony with their radiance. I had not the heart to shoo them away and so, let them stay.
As they pranced all over the wall and into the basin, I realized I needed to hurry up: I finished my business with the brush, completed my work with the aftershave, and sat to finish my breakfast.
“I have no clue,” I began as I scrutinized the tea in my cup, “how she became such a dumpster.”
“A dumpster?”
“Yes she uses them and then throws them away.”
“Well you do the same as well.”
“What do you mean?”
“Look at those cassettes lying vacantly in your cupboard. They must have forgotten how you look by now. “
“I am not talking about cassettes!”
“Well, you dump your clothes too,” continued Sister Dearest, not willing to let go of this chance to put me royally in the dock, “Open your cupboard and they'll all fall on your face in protest.”
“I am not talking about clothes! I am not talking about myself right now!”
“I know! You are talking of the dumpster.”
“So let's stick to that for now.”
“I was only trying to say-”
“-what is not quite relevant! I am not talking of using things!”
“Ahh!” cooed Sister Dearest as she disentangled the cup from her grasp, “now you're talking.”
“Yes, so as I said she uses them and throws them.”
“She used you?”
“No. But she did use This One.”
“Oh really! When did that happen?”
“Oh a year back.”
“A year! And you did not tell me?”
“Well, I myself wasn't sure.”
“Now tell me. Come on!”
“Well, she first said yes, then said no. They split in December-”
“-this December?”
“No no the one before that.”
“Oh okay.”
“And well, they got back again in March. So everything was hunky dory till November. And then the trouble began.”
“Trouble?”
“Yes, she brushed him off several times. And that fellow brushed this behavior of hers aside every time. I don't know what was in her head - she even ticked him off for getting angry at her.”
“Well, you know how men are!”
“You know what she did?! She told him she cannot meet him one Saturday and coolly traipses to meet her darling best friend the next day.”
“So?”
“So what so? This bugger only did not beg of her, okay?”
“She must have had an excuse.”
“Yes, the excuse was: The friend was going away for a while. Well, she should have at least considered the lover would have met her anywhere she wanted him to, and anytime! But no, she had rules for that too!”
“Rules?!”
“Yes! She would not meet him more than once in the whole week. And at times, a fortnight was the gap between two meetings. Besides that, anymore than two phone calls and he would get the dressing down.”
“This is amusing!”
“Oh there's more. The number of attempts to call her had to be restricted to four. Anymore than four and she would make him feel he was in need of psychiatric help!”
“Hehe. Oh this is hilarious! Why didn't you tell me all this before?”
“Because I was sworn into secrecy.”
“Shut up! Sworn to secrecy my foot!”
“Okay but I am telling you now no?”
“Okay, go on.”
“Well, poor fellow, really! He could not even get mushy with her. Hardly he would do that and she would change the topic!”
“Then what did she want from him?”
“God alone knows! - and she of course! He was completely clueless.”
“He should have asked her.”
“He did and all he got were vague answers - covered with several layers of sophisticated intellect.”
“Oh he should have left her long back. He never had the intellect to uncover layers!”
“Well, she took him to Carter Road and dumped him.”
“Dumped him where?”
“Oh ho! Dumped him as in broke off with him.”
“Carter Road?!”
“Yes that happens to be her den for all such activities.”
“Is it?”
“Yes, she takes them all to Carter Road at the end of their tenure and unceremoniously dumps them. Apparently, she has perfected the art so well, she doesn't even cry now!”
“Some woman that!”
“Yes. He's the seventh prey you know.”
“At this rate, I think there will be more.”
“Well whatever the rate is, I just hope the recession puts some sense in her.”
“What has the recession got to do with her?”
“Well now that everyone is short of everything - including intellect, I hope she is short of her insanity as well. That way, the next prey might not be a prey at all!”
They were so pleased by my toothpaste-laden smile that they brought in some more of their siblings and flooded the entire balcony with their radiance. I had not the heart to shoo them away and so, let them stay.
As they pranced all over the wall and into the basin, I realized I needed to hurry up: I finished my business with the brush, completed my work with the aftershave, and sat to finish my breakfast.
“I have no clue,” I began as I scrutinized the tea in my cup, “how she became such a dumpster.”
“A dumpster?”
“Yes she uses them and then throws them away.”
“Well you do the same as well.”
“What do you mean?”
“Look at those cassettes lying vacantly in your cupboard. They must have forgotten how you look by now. “
“I am not talking about cassettes!”
“Well, you dump your clothes too,” continued Sister Dearest, not willing to let go of this chance to put me royally in the dock, “Open your cupboard and they'll all fall on your face in protest.”
“I am not talking about clothes! I am not talking about myself right now!”
“I know! You are talking of the dumpster.”
“So let's stick to that for now.”
“I was only trying to say-”
“-what is not quite relevant! I am not talking of using things!”
“Ahh!” cooed Sister Dearest as she disentangled the cup from her grasp, “now you're talking.”
“Yes, so as I said she uses them and throws them.”
“She used you?”
“No. But she did use This One.”
“Oh really! When did that happen?”
“Oh a year back.”
“A year! And you did not tell me?”
“Well, I myself wasn't sure.”
“Now tell me. Come on!”
“Well, she first said yes, then said no. They split in December-”
“-this December?”
“No no the one before that.”
“Oh okay.”
“And well, they got back again in March. So everything was hunky dory till November. And then the trouble began.”
“Trouble?”
“Yes, she brushed him off several times. And that fellow brushed this behavior of hers aside every time. I don't know what was in her head - she even ticked him off for getting angry at her.”
“Well, you know how men are!”
“You know what she did?! She told him she cannot meet him one Saturday and coolly traipses to meet her darling best friend the next day.”
“So?”
“So what so? This bugger only did not beg of her, okay?”
“She must have had an excuse.”
“Yes, the excuse was: The friend was going away for a while. Well, she should have at least considered the lover would have met her anywhere she wanted him to, and anytime! But no, she had rules for that too!”
“Rules?!”
“Yes! She would not meet him more than once in the whole week. And at times, a fortnight was the gap between two meetings. Besides that, anymore than two phone calls and he would get the dressing down.”
“This is amusing!”
“Oh there's more. The number of attempts to call her had to be restricted to four. Anymore than four and she would make him feel he was in need of psychiatric help!”
“Hehe. Oh this is hilarious! Why didn't you tell me all this before?”
“Because I was sworn into secrecy.”
“Shut up! Sworn to secrecy my foot!”
“Okay but I am telling you now no?”
“Okay, go on.”
“Well, poor fellow, really! He could not even get mushy with her. Hardly he would do that and she would change the topic!”
“Then what did she want from him?”
“God alone knows! - and she of course! He was completely clueless.”
“He should have asked her.”
“He did and all he got were vague answers - covered with several layers of sophisticated intellect.”
“Oh he should have left her long back. He never had the intellect to uncover layers!”
“Well, she took him to Carter Road and dumped him.”
“Dumped him where?”
“Oh ho! Dumped him as in broke off with him.”
“Carter Road?!”
“Yes that happens to be her den for all such activities.”
“Is it?”
“Yes, she takes them all to Carter Road at the end of their tenure and unceremoniously dumps them. Apparently, she has perfected the art so well, she doesn't even cry now!”
“Some woman that!”
“Yes. He's the seventh prey you know.”
“At this rate, I think there will be more.”
“Well whatever the rate is, I just hope the recession puts some sense in her.”
“What has the recession got to do with her?”
“Well now that everyone is short of everything - including intellect, I hope she is short of her insanity as well. That way, the next prey might not be a prey at all!”
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