Episode 34: The Divorce

I walked to the station with half my mind on walking back. I had no intention of going to work. Work was so attractive, the other half of my mind was busy with schemes to divorce her. Of course, I could not quite settle on any particular manner to deal with her, but do away with her I was certain to.

Resignation then met me as I headed up the slope to the platform. "Use me use me," she said, "you'll get rid of work in no time. She and I hate each other."
"Really," I said, "but I did use you before and you were no good."
"That's because you used me to get back at her."
"Is it now?"
"Oh yes, I told you not to go back to her, but you did not listen."
"Well, she is attractive you know. The package is just too good to resist."
"Well, she is destructive too you know. The bandage is too ugly for me its description to persist."

"Oh yes that," I agreed as my train slid alongside the platform, "that is quite true."
"So then Gary listen to me. Use me and stay away from her."
"Well I can't-"
"At least for a while. You sure can do that. Just let go of her and you go your way. I am sure you will find her more attractive this way."

The train neared Dadar station and I was in a fine mood to not get down. However, had I not to, the train would have hauled me over to Matunga and beyond and not back home. So get down I did, took the bridge to the Western Railway station, and thought about my resignation.

Yes, that was quite simple a solution to work. But the problem began when one of my thoughts left its work and asked me: "But what will you do once you leave?"

Now I encourage initiative but when initiative takes over, I am irritation personified.
"Why don't you just do your job?" I asked this thought of mine.
"Oh but I am."
"No you are not. You are thinking more than I want you to."
"Well, you insist on that half the time."
"Yes yes I shot back as I forced the crowd to give way and let me walk on the station, but not when I am not asking you to."
"And then you say you don't take initi-"
"Oh alright alright. Now that you've worried me enough, go do your job."

This little thinking thought smiled and went quiet. I could not quite smile though. Nor could I be quiet. I had this train to wrestle into. And I had a proper seat to find as well. This, in the first class compartment, at 8:37 in the morning, is really not a sequence of events I wanted to wear, forget consider.

But there I was weathering it all all the same. And the feeling was not good.

Travelling is a real pain. And work, even more so. While at work, Pain did its best to get Sorrow to stay with me. And they both introduced me to Pathos. These three then threw me out of my skin. I was a naked animal - hurt and hurting as well. Only a week ago did I realize that I need to get back into my skin and so I did.

I blamed work for my eviction from my own skin. After all, she employed Pain who, in turn, recruited Sorrow and Pathos. Now I had no intention of working with these three people. I tried working with them all but none wanted to work with me. They all wanted me to work the way they did. However, the way they worked was and is not the way I work. I told them so. But all they did was nod their heads, and make their presence felt. Which is why I realized I was in love with the deed to resign.

So, as I walked into the bus that took me to date work, I resignedly put my arm around my resignation, stamped it with my approval, and did indeed ask for a working divorce.

A week later, we separated. One month is all I get to clear her memories from my head. Three or less months are what she will use to replace me. And six months is all we both will take to understand that this, in the first place, was never to be.

Comments

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